5
21 Oct 14 at 1 pm

spiritguide:

Convertir el odio en vida, como plasmar tus complejos ante miles de miradas acusadoras. (by BHF Photography)

spiritguide:

Convertir el odio en vida, como plasmar tus complejos ante miles de miradas acusadoras. (by BHF Photography)
 233901
21 Oct 14 at 1 pm

dropout-genius:

onlylolgifs:

baby arctic fox tries to eat a man alive

fails

 4
20 Oct 14 at 7 pm

I am generally an open person, because I am generally an unashamed person. I share when I am sad, when I am angry, even when I am disappointed in myself because I know I will feel better and do better. One thing that has plagued me that I rarely talk about is my struggle with my weight. It is much more intricate than most people realize. It does not always come down to wanting to impress men, or to be skinner than other girls. Anorexia is an illness of contradictions and it is near impossible for me to talk about. 

I have been hesitant to even write to myself about this because I like to think that if I pretend it is not there, it will go away. It is, for lack of a more accurate phrase, fucked up. I couldn’t begin to describe to anyone else the ways I went about observing the most minute changes in my body, the detail and the discipline it took to be what I was. This is the sickest thing about eating disorders. When they are discussed, it is almost poetic, it is glamorous, and it is romanticized. And this is why I have had trouble. I want to be able to understand myself and the many shades of insecurity and narcissism that led me to act the way I did and to think the way I still do in ebbs. (and always will, I truly think). It does not go away completely. Because there is a strange pride in the act that disgusts me. With successfully starving yourself bit by bit, there comes a strange euphoria. It is not like any other type of illness. It isn’t like losing your family, or breaking up with a boyfriend, going through a divorce, dealing with depression, or battling cancer. It is self-inflicted. It is …the goal and the problem, at once. It is so hard for me to describe the complete delusion that leads you to see your suffering as almost spiritual and admirable. It is twisted. I could sit here and describe the trouble I went through to avoid eating with others, the excuses I made to skip out on group meals, the places I counted calories, the times I cried of frustration when I went over, the hours I put in at the gym, the mental energy I expended finding ways to quench my addiction. But even that last sentence sounds….proud. It sounds disgusting, and it also sounds intriguing. This is where I become stuck. 

I want to say something, but I don’t think that I deserve any attention for what I did to myself. I want to understand many things, but I always conclude that you cannot understand insanity. There is an obsession with anorexia and bulimia, people are interested by it, drawn in. I have never wanted to feed that. I don’t want to be a poster for it and I am ashamed, so ashamed. I wouldn’t want anyone to tell me I shouldn’t be. 

I want people to know how completely pathetic and boring and lifeless it is. I wish people could understand the reality of an eating disorder. It isn’t always fueled by some psychological trauma or an attempt to come to terms with some childhood conflict. 

Sometimes eating disorders are just a plague of overachievers, of perfectionists. I was always so surprised by what was happening to me, even as it happened. And sometimes still can. I thought I would be the last person to have such a huge insecurity. But I didn’t understand. And I still don’t. 1 in 100 women are diagnosed with it. They tend to be good students, involved in school. 95% of those with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25. It is a disease of industrialized nations, where food is abundant, and people are fortunate enough to be able to have the luxury of starving themselves willingly. I am the prototype. I am one of the most likely people to have it. That is the worst part for someone like me who considers themselves an independent thinker to admit. In this regard, I have lost control of my mind. 

I cannot talk about it as openly as I want to, because I am wrong. I am delusional. I talk to myself and all I can hear is the crazy. Sure, I can talk to you like someone who doesn’t still hold these thoughts in the back of her mind. I can talk about it in past tense. I can say what I KNOW somewhere in my head (?) is the logical and rational thing. But that isn’t what my mind thinks. That isn’t what my mind BELIEVES. For someone like me, who controls her irrationality and emotions and takes pride in that, this is heartbreaking. Even now, 15 pounds later and loving my butt and thighs. Even now, at very little risk of dropping below normal weight. Even now, beginning to enjoy meals with my family again. Even now, not having run in several days. Even now, pigging out with Liv and watching Sex and the City. Even now, starting to feel comfortable in my body as it is naturally. Even now, with my addiction at bay, I still have the mentality of an anorexic. I don’t want it to be part of Cyn. But I can’t deny it. I wish that I could. It will always be the only part of me I will never want to own. I guess strong-minded people can also be the most strongly deluded.

I don’t know what more to say. 

 961
16 Oct 14 at 12 pm

mymodernmet:

Photographer Fred Lyon captured spectacular, black-and-white photos of San Francisco in the 1940s and ’50s. 

rudiecantfailtomakeyousquart:

a-kat-astrophe:

dimmthelightsandletthestarsshine:

Abortion is not birth control!

who uses abortion as birth control? obviously abortion isn’t people’s first choice.

Even if people do use it that way it’s not your fucking business.

^^^^ yes. thank you. all hail 

 78964
16 Oct 14 at 12 pm

mirror:

If women catcalled men (X)

(via lovemoneybooty)


16 Oct 14 at 8 am

Winter is coming

Winter is coming
 13257
15 Oct 14 at 2 pm

cynicallyindecisive:

yhippie:

connie-green:

myhiphopmelody:

cynicallyindecisive:

Finally. A WOC.

^^^

ive seen all pictures like this with photoshopped white girls and this photo makes me so happy ^-^

that means a lot cynicallyindecisive , thank you :)

You’re welcome
yhippie
😳🙊

(Source: de-marrow, via seafoamtides)

cynicallyindecisive:

yhippie:

connie-green:

myhiphopmelody:

cynicallyindecisive:

Finally. A WOC.

^^^

ive seen all pictures like this with photoshopped white girls and this photo makes me so happy ^-^

that means a lot cynicallyindecisive , thank you :)

You’re welcome
yhippie
😳🙊

(Source: pro-spoopy-anti-feminism, via misogyny-mermaid)

 2
15 Oct 14 at 2 pm

I spat truth in an unnecessarily harsh way

well patience for delusion’s not my forte

tore down the boy for his tendency to betray

well some folks you gotta bite to scare away

chewed out an ex and his girl for their naivete

well some are just pissed off by honesty

And we’ll all float on okaaaay

And we’ll all float on okay

And we’ll all float on okaaay

And we’ll all float on anyway 

:)


13 Oct 14 at 10 pm
What College Men Think Of The New Rape Prevention Campaign That’s Targeting Them
 3
13 Oct 14 at 10 pm

(Source: cognitivecandy)


13 Oct 14 at 10 pm

Speaking of fashawn

Speaking of fashawn